Many players will tell you that online poker tells either don’t exist or are difficult to judge. That’s a load. All the online pros know the tells but it’s some sort of unspoken rule never to let others in on it. Well, that ends right now! I will share with my loyal readers 5 of the top online poker tells that they (and we know who “they” is, don’t we?) don’t want you to know about.
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Steaming/Tilt
Here’s a subtle clue that your opponent is on tilt.

Notice the smoke coming out of the player’s ears? That’s a dead giveaway!
The Fishy Player
Ever wonder if that runner, runner suck out was brilliant play or you’ve found yourself an uber-fish? Guess no more. Just take a look at the fishy tells this guy is giving off.

No need to wait until you have 100 hands on this guy in PokerTracker. You’ve got this guy’s number cold.
Strong
Ever find yourself sitting on a questionable hand like KJo and wonder if you should try to limp in? Well, take a look around the table. If you see this tell, get out of the hand as quickly as possible.

Maniac
There’s Loose / Aggressive Bad and then there’s Loose / Aggressive Good. If you see this tell, find another table.

Deception
This isn’t really a tell so much as a warning. She’s a man, baby!!! That’s an Adam’s apple.

If you enjoyed this post check out our Poker Humor section where we have a ton more like it.

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Hi, my name is Bill Rini and this is my poker blog. I've been blogging about poker and the poker industry since around 2003-ish. Like most people I started out playing poker as entertainment in home games whenever we wanted to sit around and smoke cigars, drink beer, and eat pizza, and needed a good excuse. I started playing online shortly after the first online card rooms opened and it wasn't long before I was playing 20, 30, or even 40 hours a week or more. One day I received a phone call about a program manager position at Tiltware which was the company that consulted to Full Tilt Poker on software development and marketing. After Tiltware I spent about 2.5 years working at Party Poker where I was the poker room manager.

Shawn S
Damn, why didn’t I read this years ago…I coulda saved a lot of money!
paul
This will help out!
lelauz
the stong one….uahhhhh..simply great
Randall Bly
Reliable Online Poker Tells is actually funny, not alot of fun on poker blogs. Most people forget that poker, is still a fun game.
mark furlong
unbelivably funny but i thought id get tips, would just like to say that i found out about this software that you can use to cheat with on on-line poker games. i find this worringly ridiculous. i play for hours and wonder how an idiot could call me and hit runner runner to win.
Stephen
Why are the images not working
gator
while I’know’ tht u r bing ‘sarcastic’ -wht’s the dlw/ alleged online ‘scanners’?
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MrAgmoore
She’s very beautiful ( for a man ).
Breyer
Between this and the cheating on Party you are saving me 5BB an hour, thanks
Donkeypuncher
OMG. Freakin’ hilarious!
Fixer
just sent you an email, mister. might be in LA in Jan if this interview goes well. see you across the felt soon!
grubby
Hilarious! I’ll have to turn my avatars on, look at all the tells I’m missing.
April
Priceless. You’re killing me with these…
G-Rob
Very nice
Felicia
OMG, another score! Hilarious!