Many players will tell you that online poker tells either don’t exist or are difficult to judge. That’s a load. All the online pros know the tells but it’s some sort of unspoken rule never to let others in on it. Well, that ends right now! I will share with my loyal readers 5 of the top online poker tells that they (and we know who “they” is, don’t we?) don’t want you to know about.

Steaming/Tilt

Here’s a subtle clue that your opponent is on tilt.

tell_steam.jpg

Notice the smoke coming out of the player’s ears? That’s a dead giveaway!

The Fishy Player

Ever wonder if that runner, runner suck out was brilliant play or you’ve found yourself an uber-fish? Guess no more. Just take a look at the fishy tells this guy is giving off.

tell_fishy.jpg

No need to wait until you have 100 hands on this guy in PokerTracker. You’ve got this guy’s number cold.

Strong

Ever find yourself sitting on a questionable hand like KJo and wonder if you should try to limp in? Well, take a look around the table. If you see this tell, get out of the hand as quickly as possible.

tell_shocked.jpg

Maniac

There’s Loose / Aggressive Bad and then there’s Loose / Aggressive Good. If you see this tell, find another table.

tell_gus.jpg

Deception

This isn’t really a tell so much as a warning. She’s a man, baby!!! That’s an Adam’s apple.

tell_sheaman.jpg

If you enjoyed this post check out our Poker Humor section where we have a ton more like it.

16 thoughts on “Reliable Online Poker Tells

  • Shawn S

    Damn, why didn’t I read this years ago…I coulda saved a lot of money!

  • paul

    This will help out!

  • lelauz

    the stong one….uahhhhh..simply great

  • Randall Bly

    Reliable Online Poker Tells is actually funny, not alot of fun on poker blogs. Most people forget that poker, is still a fun game.

  • mark furlong

    unbelivably funny but i thought id get tips, would just like to say that i found out about this software that you can use to cheat with on on-line poker games. i find this worringly ridiculous. i play for hours and wonder how an idiot could call me and hit runner runner to win.

  • Stephen

    Why are the images not working

  • gator

    while I’know’ tht u r bing ‘sarcastic’ -wht’s the dlw/ alleged online ‘scanners’?

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  • MrAgmoore

    She’s very beautiful ( for a man ).

  • Breyer

    Between this and the cheating on Party you are saving me 5BB an hour, thanks

  • Donkeypuncher

    OMG. Freakin’ hilarious!

  • Fixer

    just sent you an email, mister. might be in LA in Jan if this interview goes well. see you across the felt soon!

  • grubby

    Hilarious! I’ll have to turn my avatars on, look at all the tells I’m missing.

  • April

    Priceless. You’re killing me with these…

  • G-Rob

    Very nice

  • Felicia

    OMG, another score! Hilarious!

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