Many players will tell you that online poker tells either don’t exist or are difficult to judge. That’s a load. All the online pros know the tells but it’s some sort of unspoken rule never to let others in on it. Well, that ends right now! I will share with my loyal readers 5 of the top online poker tells that they (and we know who “they” is, don’t we?) don’t want you to know about.


Here’s a subtle clue that your opponent is on tilt.


Notice the smoke coming out of the player’s ears? That’s a dead giveaway!

The Fishy Player

Ever wonder if that runner, runner suck out was brilliant play or you’ve found yourself an uber-fish? Guess no more. Just take a look at the fishy tells this guy is giving off.


No need to wait until you have 100 hands on this guy in PokerTracker. You’ve got this guy’s number cold.


Ever find yourself sitting on a questionable hand like KJo and wonder if you should try to limp in? Well, take a look around the table. If you see this tell, get out of the hand as quickly as possible.



There’s Loose / Aggressive Bad and then there’s Loose / Aggressive Good. If you see this tell, find another table.



This isn’t really a tell so much as a warning. She’s a man, baby!!! That’s an Adam’s apple.


If you enjoyed this post check out our Poker Humor section where we have a ton more like it.

16 thoughts to “Reliable Online Poker Tells

  • Shawn S

    Damn, why didn’t I read this years ago…I coulda saved a lot of money!

  • paul

    This will help out!

  • lelauz

    the stong one….uahhhhh..simply great

  • Randall Bly

    Reliable Online Poker Tells is actually funny, not alot of fun on poker blogs. Most people forget that poker, is still a fun game.

  • mark furlong

    unbelivably funny but i thought id get tips, would just like to say that i found out about this software that you can use to cheat with on on-line poker games. i find this worringly ridiculous. i play for hours and wonder how an idiot could call me and hit runner runner to win.

  • Stephen

    Why are the images not working

  • gator

    while I’know’ tht u r bing ‘sarcastic’ -wht’s the dlw/ alleged online ‘scanners’?

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  • MrAgmoore

    She’s very beautiful ( for a man ).

  • Breyer

    Between this and the cheating on Party you are saving me 5BB an hour, thanks

  • Donkeypuncher

    OMG. Freakin’ hilarious!

  • Fixer

    just sent you an email, mister. might be in LA in Jan if this interview goes well. see you across the felt soon!

  • grubby

    Hilarious! I’ll have to turn my avatars on, look at all the tells I’m missing.

  • April

    Priceless. You’re killing me with these…

  • G-Rob

    Very nice

  • Felicia

    OMG, another score! Hilarious!

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