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Reliable Online Poker Tells

by Bill Rini on December 5, 2004

in Poker, Poker Humor

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Many players will tell you that online poker tells either don’t exist or are difficult to judge. That’s a load. All the online pros know the tells but it’s some sort of unspoken rule never to let others in on it. Well, that ends right now! I will share with my loyal readers 5 of the top online poker tells that they (and we know who “they” is, don’t we?) don’t want you to know about.

Steaming/Tilt

Here’s a subtle clue that your opponent is on tilt.

tell steam Reliable Online Poker Tells

Notice the smoke coming out of the player’s ears? That’s a dead giveaway!

The Fishy Player

Ever wonder if that runner, runner suck out was brilliant play or you’ve found yourself an uber-fish? Guess no more. Just take a look at the fishy tells this guy is giving off.

tell fishy Reliable Online Poker Tells

No need to wait until you have 100 hands on this guy in PokerTracker. You’ve got this guy’s number cold.

Strong

Ever find yourself sitting on a questionable hand like KJo and wonder if you should try to limp in? Well, take a look around the table. If you see this tell, get out of the hand as quickly as possible.

tell shocked Reliable Online Poker Tells

Maniac

There’s Loose / Aggressive Bad and then there’s Loose / Aggressive Good. If you see this tell, find another table.

tell gus Reliable Online Poker Tells

Deception

This isn’t really a tell so much as a warning. She’s a man, baby!!! That’s an Adam’s apple.

tell sheaman Reliable Online Poker Tells

If you enjoyed this post check out our Poker Humor section where we have a ton more like it.

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Las Vegas and Poker Blog
01.09.05 at 10:43 pm

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Felicia 12.06.04 at 11:10 am

OMG, another score! Hilarious!

2 G-Rob 12.06.04 at 11:31 am

Very nice

3 April 12.06.04 at 5:00 pm

Priceless. You’re killing me with these…

4 grubby 12.07.04 at 4:00 pm

Hilarious! I’ll have to turn my avatars on, look at all the tells I’m missing.

5 Fixer 12.08.04 at 8:08 am

just sent you an email, mister. might be in LA in Jan if this interview goes well. see you across the felt soon!

6 Donkeypuncher 12.08.04 at 11:22 am

OMG. Freakin’ hilarious!

7 Breyer 12.17.04 at 9:36 am

Between this and the cheating on Party you are saving me 5BB an hour, thanks

8 MrAgmoore 03.09.05 at 7:05 am

She’s very beautiful ( for a man ).

9 gator 10.28.05 at 6:14 am

while I’know’ tht u r bing ’sarcastic’ -wht’s the dlw/ alleged online ’scanners’?

10 Stephen 03.13.06 at 8:27 am

Why are the images not working

11 mark furlong 03.26.06 at 3:43 pm

unbelivably funny but i thought id get tips, would just like to say that i found out about this software that you can use to cheat with on on-line poker games. i find this worringly ridiculous. i play for hours and wonder how an idiot could call me and hit runner runner to win.

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