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Reliable Online Poker Tells

by Bill Rini on December 5, 2004

in Poker, Poker Humor

Many players will tell you that online poker tells either don’t exist or are difficult to judge. That’s a load. All the online pros know the tells but it’s some sort of unspoken rule never to let others in on it. Well, that ends right now! I will share with my loyal readers 5 of the top online poker tells that they (and we know who “they” is, don’t we?) don’t want you to know about.

Steaming/Tilt

Here’s a subtle clue that your opponent is on tilt.

tell steam Reliable Online Poker Tells

Notice the smoke coming out of the player’s ears? That’s a dead giveaway!

The Fishy Player

Ever wonder if that runner, runner suck out was brilliant play or you’ve found yourself an uber-fish? Guess no more. Just take a look at the fishy tells this guy is giving off.

tell fishy Reliable Online Poker Tells

No need to wait until you have 100 hands on this guy in PokerTracker. You’ve got this guy’s number cold.

Strong

Ever find yourself sitting on a questionable hand like KJo and wonder if you should try to limp in? Well, take a look around the table. If you see this tell, get out of the hand as quickly as possible.

tell shocked Reliable Online Poker Tells

Maniac

There’s Loose / Aggressive Bad and then there’s Loose / Aggressive Good. If you see this tell, find another table.

tell gus Reliable Online Poker Tells

Deception

This isn’t really a tell so much as a warning. She’s a man, baby!!! That’s an Adam’s apple.

tell sheaman Reliable Online Poker Tells

If you enjoyed this post check out our Poker Humor section where we have a ton more like it.

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SiteRackbackSign Up BonusUS
Absolute Poker 30% 150% up to $500 The poker room accepts US players
Ultimate Bet 30% 111% up to $1100 The poker room accepts US players
Cake Poker 33% 110% up to $600 The poker room accepts US players
PKR Poker 30% 100% up to $800
Paradise Poker 30% 200% up to €1,000
Players Only 33% 100% up to $650 The poker room accepts US players
Fortune Poker 30% 200% up to €1,000
Betfair 30% $1500
Aced 30% 100% up to $500 The poker room accepts US players
Poker Heaven 30% 200% up to €1000
Poker Nordica 30% 100% up to $200 The poker room accepts US players
Carbon Poker 30% 150% up to $1000 The poker room accepts US players
Red Star Poker 33% 110% up to $600
True Poker 27% 100% up to $200 The poker room accepts US players
Action Poker 35% 100% up to $2500
Cellsino Poker 40% 500% up to $500
Minted Poker 40% 100% up to $400
Power Poker 33% 110% up to $600
Interpoker 30% 200% up to €1000
Doyles Room 33% 110% up to $600
Gutshot Poker 33% 110% up to $600
Full Tilt Poker 27% 100% up to $600 The poker room accepts US players
Fat Bet Poker 40% 1000% up to €500
NoiQ Poker 30% 100% up to €5000


Site Rake Race Rake Chase Freeroll
Doyle's Room $35,000    
Cereus Poker Network* $7,500 $10,000 $10,000**
Cake Poker $60,000    
Party Poker***   $50,000  
Red Star   $23,000  
Eurobet***   $21,000  
Players Only   $16,400  
Tower Gaming***   $15,000  
Full Tilt Poker $10,000    
Carbon Poker   $12,000  
Betfair Poker   $12,000  
Boss Media Network**** $5,000    
Cellsino Poker   $5,000  
Power Poker   $5,000  
Poker Nordica   $5,000  
NoIQ €1,500    

* Absolute Poker and Ultimate Bet (UB) ** May not be available to all players *** Poker Heaven, Fortune Poker, InterPoker, Paradise Poker

{ 1 trackback }

Las Vegas and Poker Blog
01.09.05 at 10:43 pm

{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Felicia 12.06.04 at 11:10 am

OMG, another score! Hilarious!

2 G-Rob 12.06.04 at 11:31 am

Very nice

3 April 12.06.04 at 5:00 pm

Priceless. You’re killing me with these…

4 grubby 12.07.04 at 4:00 pm

Hilarious! I’ll have to turn my avatars on, look at all the tells I’m missing.

5 Fixer 12.08.04 at 8:08 am

just sent you an email, mister. might be in LA in Jan if this interview goes well. see you across the felt soon!

6 Donkeypuncher 12.08.04 at 11:22 am

OMG. Freakin’ hilarious!

7 Breyer 12.17.04 at 9:36 am

Between this and the cheating on Party you are saving me 5BB an hour, thanks

8 MrAgmoore 03.09.05 at 7:05 am

She’s very beautiful ( for a man ).

9 gator 10.28.05 at 6:14 am

while I’know’ tht u r bing ’sarcastic’ -wht’s the dlw/ alleged online ’scanners’?

10 Stephen 03.13.06 at 8:27 am

Why are the images not working

11 mark furlong 03.26.06 at 3:43 pm

unbelivably funny but i thought id get tips, would just like to say that i found out about this software that you can use to cheat with on on-line poker games. i find this worringly ridiculous. i play for hours and wonder how an idiot could call me and hit runner runner to win.

12 Randall Bly 12.29.09 at 1:06 pm

Reliable Online Poker Tells is actually funny, not alot of fun on poker blogs. Most people forget that poker, is still a fun game.

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