No Poker Content
Feb was a fairly wet month here. My daily route from home to office has me crossing Casemates square, a large public gathering spot. It had just rained that evening prior so there were some small puddles here and there.
As I was walking there was a couple holding hands and walking in the opposite direction. As they came closer to me, I noted the small puddle ahead. They were passing to the left (my left) of the puddle and I to the right of it.
Well for some reason the woman decides that instead of taking a half-step to the left she’s going to Evil Knievel it over the puddle. I have to admit that had nothing else happened the goofy gazelle like jump would have been entertaining in itself. Sort of like a retarded ballerina.
So she launches herself into the air to avoid the puddle but instead of going straight or even to the left she sets herself on a direct trajectory towards me! Now, she probably weighed 90lbs soaking wet (which she was soon to become) and I weigh . . . well, let’s just say considerably more. Completely unaware that the laws of physics had already determined her fate she slams into me hard. I guess I could have rolled with the impact to make it less severe but I wasn’t the one stupid enough to jump across a puddle head-on into another human being so I held my ground.
I kept my shoulder stiff and when she impacted with it she stopped in mid-air. To be honest, I found it somewhat amusing as all of her forward momentum stopped instantly and she dropped like a stone. Some moments happen in an instant but seem to last much longer. This was one of those. I remember the look on her face at that exact moment when her brain realized that she was going to fall flat on her ass. I also remember when that initial look of shock turned to fear as she began to understand that she was going to fall flat on her ass in the middle of the very puddle she had been attempting to avoid. Then, of course, there was the moment of impact. First the hard smack of body against cobblestone and then the rush of cold, dirty water.
She made a splash when she hit the muddy water. Her boyfriend rushes to help her up. I act mildly concerned for her well being but I’m actually fighting off laughing. She sneers at me and gets a huffy as if I had something to do with the stupidity of her decision to leap the puddle. Perhaps she was expecting me to jump out of the way. Maybe she thought she was going to knock me over. I’m not sure what was going through her mind but I think events have proven that whatever she was thinking was wrong.
That happened at 9:15am and was the highlight of my day.