Quantcast

Play Online Poker

How to Photograph a Poker Game

by Bill Rini on April 9, 2008

in Poker,Poker Humor

I stumble across a lot of amateur photography of people playing poker in home games.  In this post I will demonstrate all of the required photos of any amateur shot poker home game.

First up is the attempted artsy photography of either cards or poker chips.  Bonus points if you shoot both.  Double bonus points if you convert it to black and white so you can truly show your artistic side.

Semi artsy photo of poker chips or cards

Similarly, the pocket aces shot is obligatory.

pocket aces

The one guy flipping off the other guy photo always sells well at the crappy photography conventions.

the poker bird

Next you need to show off how big you roll.  In this shot we see that a super high stakes game was in play with 3rd place paying a whole $60.  Now that’s how you build a bankroll!

poker winnings

Now you need at least one (and let’s face it, one is all you’re going to get) semi-hot or hot girl playing in the game.  Bonus points if you also get a picture of some dufus hugging her while pretending to stick his tongue in her ear.

poker babe

129821929_fd1a077f94_m

Make sure to invite one goofball to your poker party that will dress up like the Unibomber and do stupid poses for the camera.

fake unibomber

If you’re willing to get a little risque you can always invite over that one guy you know who for some reason thinks everyone else might enjoy it if he decided not to wear a shirt.

shirtless poker player

361739725_be6626354a_m

Another great photo to get is of a small child (or children) playing poker.  It will be so much easier for Child Services to take the little brat away from you if you can document your questionable parenting skills.

child playing poker

Always be sure to include a bunch of photos which communicate “Oh my god!  We are so crazy!  We’re wild!  Wooooohooooo!”

crazy poker

indian poker

2112127475_a276cabb8d_m

2072994663_9df1b6bf17_m

Closely related to the “We’re so crazy” picture but in it’s own category is the “Hey, I have poker chips in my eyes” photo.  Just remember how many hands have touched those chips and the fact that only 30% of people wash their hands after using the bathroom (warning:  I completely made up that fact).

2244522128_4aed028cd4_m

217050978_cea85a4bfc_m

Another standard photo is of the drunktard who busted out and then he went on a drinking binge and passed out.  Bonus points if he’s vomited on himself.

drunk poker player

623118317_ce5a879161_m

If you busy lifestyle doesn’t afford you things like friends, family, or even co-workers will
ing to saddle up for a night of poker you can always use inanimate objects as a replacement.

2277490775_fa49d98b5e_m

2205505772_d085c82cd5_m

While not necessarily a part of your home game shooting checklist, a completely contrived photo that makes no sense but involves poker chips and cards can always round out a solid amateur portfolio.

contrived poker photo

And last, but certainly not least, is the “Don’t I look like Tony Montana or some big shot mafia guy smoking a cigar?” shot.

137383442_7f5e2b007a_m

All photos belong to their very sad and disturbed owners on Flicker.

If you enjoyed this you might want to check out more funny poker stuff in our Poker Humor section.  We’ve got tons of it.

Related posts:

  1. Badugi Poker: Game History and How To Play This is now the third article in the series I’ve...
  2. Stop The Presses: Village Voice Discovers Poker is a Zero Sum Game Sometimes you really have to scratch your head and wonder...
  3. Stop the Madness I recently ran across a news story (?) that Lady...
  4. The Game is Getting Tighter Bluff Europe recently ran an article asking if there was...

Play Online Poker


Rakeback Report Promotions

We are pleased to offer all of the following promotions this month at Rakeback Report. Simply sign up for a valid account at a participating poker room and you will automatically be enrolled.

September Promotions
Site Rake Race Rake Chase Points Race Freeroll
Cake Poker $60,000      
Doyle's Room $50,000      
Cereus Poker Network* $60,000     $15,000
Red Star Poker   $23,000    
Party Poker       $20,000
GR88 Poker   $20,000    
Players Only   $16,400    
Minted Poker   $14,050    
Full Tilt Poker $10,000     $5,000
Betfair Poker $5,000      
Victory Poker   $10,450    
Carbon Poker   $10,000    
Power Poker   $10,000    
Eurobet**     $10,000  
Tower Gaming**     $10,000  
NoIQ Poker €8,000      
Boss Media Network*** $5,000      
Winner Poker   $5,000    

* Includes Absolute Poker and Ultimate Bet.
** Includes Eurobet and Tower Gaming. May not be available to all users. Contact Us to request this offer or for more information.
***Includes Poker Heaven, Fortune Poker, InterPoker and Paradise Poker.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

1 Chip 08.17.08 at 8:17 pm

I loved these pics, and all your comments. It reminds me of all the great poker games I have had and been to in my years. I wish I would have had a camera, I would have a collection of all these great shots my self.

Leave a Comment

You can use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title="" rel=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <card> <code> <em> <i> <span class=""> <strike> <strong>

Previous post:

Next post: