How to Photograph a Poker Game
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I stumble across a lot of amateur photography of people playing poker in home games. In this post I will demonstrate all of the required photos of any amateur shot poker home game.
First up is the attempted artsy photography of either cards or poker chips. Bonus points if you shoot both. Double bonus points if you convert it to black and white so you can truly show your artistic side.
Similarly, the pocket aces shot is obligatory.
The one guy flipping off the other guy photo always sells well at the crappy photography conventions.
Next you need to show off how big you roll. In this shot we see that a super high stakes game was in play with 3rd place paying a whole $60. Now that’s how you build a bankroll!
Now you need at least one (and let’s face it, one is all you’re going to get) semi-hot or hot girl playing in the game. Bonus points if you also get a picture of some dufus hugging her while pretending to stick his tongue in her ear.
Make sure to invite one goofball to your poker party that will dress up like the Unibomber and do stupid poses for the camera.
If you’re willing to get a little risque you can always invite over that one guy you know who for some reason thinks everyone else might enjoy it if he decided not to wear a shirt.
Another great photo to get is of a small child (or children) playing poker. It will be so much easier for Child Services to take the little brat away from you if you can document your questionable parenting skills.
Always be sure to include a bunch of photos which communicate "Oh my god! We are so crazy! We’re wild! Wooooohooooo!"
Closely related to the "We’re so crazy" picture but in it’s own category is the "Hey, I have poker chips in my eyes" photo. Just remember how many hands have touched those chips and the fact that only 30% of people wash their hands after using the bathroom (warning: I completely made up that fact).
Another standard photo is of the drunktard who busted out and then he went on a drinking binge and passed out. Bonus points if he’s vomited on himself.
If you busy lifestyle doesn’t afford you things like friends, family, or even co-workers willing to saddle up for a night of poker you can always use inanimate objects as a replacement.
While not necessarily a part of your home game shooting checklist, a completely contrived photo that makes no sense but involves poker chips and cards can always round out a solid amateur portfolio.
And last, but certainly not least, is the "Don’t I look like Tony Montana or some big shot mafia guy smoking a cigar?" shot.
All photos belong to their very sad and disturbed owners on Flicker.
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