Bill's Poker Blog » Heard At The Table

Blast From The Past: Best “Heard at the Table” Posts

Bill Rini — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 08:56:34 +0000

You hear some of the funniest things sitting at a poker table. Stress, boredom, and alcohol often cause people to say the darndest things.

First on the list was a co-worker and good friend who is known for his passionate approach to poker (i.e. he tilts easily) letting me go through his player notes:

Prone to MASSIVE tilt…worse than me

Alicia Silverstone – absolutely f*ckin clueless.

SHIT player…a GERMAN…enough said

muther f*cking son of a bitch. The bloke cant miss when he chases

But best of all he labeled two different players:

uses extemely bad language…sore loser

Watch for abusive language

You can check out the rest of his ranting player notes here.

Grandma Needs an Operation

Here’s some fun chat from a recent game:

Man, I really hope I win this hand.
My grandmother needs an operation.

LOSES HAND

Damn, no boob job for grandma.

More boob humor

Floorman! We need another player over here. Send us a drunk or a chick with big boobs.

– Commerce Casino

Don’t Bluff a Bluffer

“I think you’re bluffing but I can’t beat a bluff.”

Wise Investment Advice

I’m going to move my Charles Schwab account to PartyPoker.

Send In Your Player Notes

Bill Rini — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 15:01:35 +0000

One of the guys I work with started reading off some of the notes he had taken on other players and he had all of us rolling. I asked him to send over some of his less offensive player notes and I’ve included them below.

Stalk this player… he is the worst player… loads of money available from him

Prone to MASSIVE tilt…worse than me

thinks he is a good player….stroke his ego….f*ckin fish.

Cheating player….no class whatsoever…had $100…left then came back with $20 CHEAT

passive player who will chase…value but also bad beat city

Alicia Silverstone – absolutely f*ckin clueless.

He owes $150 (24/2/07) get back with interest

shit player… he draws for a draw

plays junk hands….hard to bluff…. always calls **VALUE**

SHIT player…a GERMAN…enough said

good player…makes some good moves on tricky boards….be weary of this monkey

he brings new meaning to the work DONKEY. Seriously…just F*CK HIM Up any way you can…

uses extemely bad language…sore loser

very looose player….and gives the most amazingly bad bets in the history of the game.

Watch for abusive language

wanker…time waster…CHANGE TABLES!

Son of bitch. Lucky f*cker

muther f*cking son of a bitch. The bloke cant miss when he chases

biggest FISH on the site

What are some of the most bizarre, tilted, angry player notes you’ve taken on other players?

Grandma Needs an Operation

Bill Rini — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 14:32:25 +0000

Here’s some fun chat from a recent game: Man, I really hope I win this hand. My grandmother needs an operation. LOSES HAND Damn, no boob job for grandma. Related Posts Blast From The Past: Best “Heard at the Table” Posts Songkran Part II: Washing Grandma Full Tilt Launches Pro Chat Different Mentality PokerFilter: This [...]

Horses and Donkeys

Bill Rini — Mon, 13 Mar 2006 18:49:13 +0000

You can lead a horse to water, but only a donkey will follow you to the river. – Contributed by Chris@ What is this? Related Posts Donkeys better than wives Donkey Crossing Annie Duke Finishes Seventh in the Tender Loving Care Final Charlie Tuttle Results The Donkey T-Shirt

Boobs And Drunks

Bill Rini — Wed, 08 Mar 2006 12:19:12 +0000

Floorman! We need another player over here. Send us a drunk or a chick with big boobs. – Commerce Casino Related Posts Blast From The Past: Best “Heard at the Table” Posts The Hammer Photo Challenge Winner Is . . . Tie With A Flush Even Land Based Casinos Are Lumping it On Just a [...]

Tie With A Flush

Bill Rini — Wed, 22 Feb 2006 08:24:21 +0000

I just lost this huge pot. I thought when two players both had a flush that it was a tie. – Commerce Casino, 2.20.06 Related Posts Even Land Based Casinos Are Lumping it On Boobs And Drunks Chaos at Commerce My First B&M Casino Loss Commerce, Paul Shirley, and a Win

Moving Money

Bill Rini — Sat, 18 Feb 2006 01:42:28 +0000

Overhead at the poker table: I’m going to move my Charles Schwab account to PartyPoker. Related Posts Blast From The Past: Best “Heard at the Table” Posts Moving This Weekend Even Play Money Poker Is Rigged! 8 Unique Ways To Lose Money In Texas Hold’em by Greg Walker You have money – She loves you

Heard at the Poker Table

Bill Rini — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 22:41:45 +0000

“I think you’re bluffing but I can’t beat a bluff.” Related Posts Blast From The Past: Best “Heard at the Table” Posts Table Chatter 5 Hottest Female Poker Players You’ve Probably Never Heard Of Phil Gordon’s Final Table Poker The first time I actually cried at the poker table – Where are all the women [...]

I Was Almost Crying

Bill Rini — Mon, 22 Nov 2004 01:54:43 +0000

After busting out about mid-way through Grubby’s Blogger Tournament I played some cash games. Hey, I had to make back my rebuy money. Anyway, I’m on one of the funniest tables I’ve ever seen before. Two guys are sitting next to each other and they are both maniacs. They frequently get into raising wars with one hand getting up to over 20BB and only three people in. So it’s the two of them in and one guy who I’ve got pegged as a little loose/passive (I’ve got over 1000 hands played against him in PokerTracker so it’s a pretty good read). Three players, flop comes JJJ. The raising war begins. Turn brings the case J putting quad fish hooks on the board. More betting and raising. One of the maniacs types in the chat window “Bluff That!” River is a junk card (I think it was a 4). More betting and raising. Finally, Maniac 1 turns up 79o. Maniac 2 tunes up Q5. Loose/Passive flips up KK. The maniac who thought L/P was bluffing (Mr. 79o) types “Never mind.”

I was almost in tears laughing.