Part Two: At the airport
Whenever I hear people say that getting there is half the fun, I can’t help but think that either they’re masochist or they’re traveling to some pretty crappy places. Getting there isn’t fun. It’s a hassle. But you can do some things to notch down the stress level and arrive at your destination safe and sound.
Tip #1: You give up all rights at check-in
If you just surrender to the fact that you are no longer in control of your life after check-in a lot of travel frustrations go away. Let’s face it; you don’t control anything once you hand over your checked luggage. They could lose your luggage. They could cancel your flight. They could delay your flight. They could serve frozen rat carcass on the flight. It doesn’t matter what THEY do because if you get too angry they’ll label you a security problem and then the federal government will want to have a lengthy chat with you.
I’ve had my fair share of travel problems and I just try to be Zen-like about it. I know that getting angry is not useful to me nor will it necessarily lead to a solution.
Always try to reframe the issue. When they tell me my flight is delayed I look for a good magazine to occupy my time. If my flight is cancelled I call my travel agent and ask to be booked on another flight as soon as possible. If the food is rancid I figure I can afford to skip a meal.
I know this sounds defeatist but like I mentioned, you really have no control over it so you can let it eat at you and ruin your vacation or you can accept it and attempt to minimize the impact.
Tip #2: You attract more flies with honey (be nice!)
This goes with Tip #1. I’ve received substantially more help from airport employees by being nice than by demanding that they correct a particular situation. You have to think about it from their perspective. They don’t have to help you. If you actually do carry through on your threat never to fly that airline again it has zero impact on that employee’s salary. Airlines know that passengers are going to get pissed off and they expect various personnel to have loads of complaints lodged against them from customers. If the flight is cancelled and Susie the customer service agent gets a complaint that she’s unhelpful and incompetent do you think the airline is going to believe the complainant or figure that you’re just angry your flight was cancelled and you took it out on poor Susie?
There are several laws of human nature at work here. First is that if you approach airline staff in an angry, confrontational manner they’re going to react in a defensive manner. They’re less likely to bend from the set rules and they’re not going to go out of their way to be of assistance.
A second law of human nature in effect here is that by putting the airline employee on the defensive you now open yourself to the potential of passive/aggression on the part of the airline employee. They may try to completely screw you over now.
I was flying to London on British Airways last year and I violated my own rule. I didn’t get angry but I did get a little sarcastic with a check-in girl. The check-in girl told me I had to check my backpack. I told her it wasn’t even close to being as big as other people’s carryon luggage and that I wasn’t going to check it. She informed me that if I didn’t check it there then there’s a good chance I would be asked to check it at the gate. Okay, well then I’m on a freeroll then, aren’t I? If they don’t ask me to check it at the gate then I get to take it on. If they do ask me to check it then I’m no better or worse off than if I checked it now. Well she didn’t like my attitude and asked for my boarding pass back. She stamped it and handed it back. I was pulled out of line at security, checked again at the gate, and was questioned at the gate terminal. I finally asked why they singled me out and the woman pointed to the stamp on the boarding pass and told me that the stamp means I had been identified for “random” security screening. Bitch!
The third law of human nature is that people tend to want to help you. Think about it this way; if you were confronted with the following two situations which would you more likely respond positively to?
a) Listen, you guys f*cked up here and you better f*cking fix my problem or I’m going to write a letter to the airline and have your ass fired.
b) Hey, I know there’s probably not much you can do here but I was wondering if you could offer any help. See, I’ve got a problem and . . . .
It’s human nature to want to help the person who appeals to you with the b approach. Always approach airline staff from a position where you’re asking for their help.
Tip #3: Dress the part (for an upgrade)
Guys in shorts and t-shirts rarely get upgraded to business class for free. I’m not a world class expert on this (due to my tendency to travel in shorts and t-shirts) but I have some friends who log a lot of miles and get upgraded often.
Their number one tip is to show up in a suit and tie (for guys – comparable business dress for women). Look like someone who should be flying in business class.
It doesn’t hurt to arrive close to your departure time.
You will almost always need to have a frequent flyer account with the airline already.
Even if you do the above, chances are still pretty low that you’ll get an upgrade so . . .
If you have earned a good chunk of frequent flyer miles on your credit cards you can always buy economy and use the miles to upgrade. In my opinion, I would rather find a cheap flight and use my miles to upgrade than use my miles to pay for the flight.
Bonus Tip: If you can’t wrangle yourself an upgrade to business at least shoot for an exit row or premium economy.
Bonus Tip: Ask at check-in and even if they shoot you down ask again at the gate.
Tip #4: Hide your passport
When I was in the military I was able to travel across most NATO countries simply by showing my military ID. I never owned a passport until I was in my late twenties. But, even then many military people still travelled on passports due to terrorism (yes, there was terrorism back in the 1980’s). The last thing you want to be is easily identified as US military on a hijacked airliner. Much better to be able to hand over a US passport than your US military ID when the hijackers ask for it.
Unfortunately, we’re still faced with terrorism today. I have a passport holder that I always keep my passport in. The only person who needs to see the blue cover with the eagle on the front is me. When I clear immigration I hand them the passport in its cover and they usually look at the first page and then flip to a blank page to stamp it.
I’m not one of those people who feels embarrassed to be an American but at the same time I don’t attempt to advertise it in airports or other public places. Granted, my accent (or lack thereof) is usually a dead giveaway but why make it easy one someone by letting them see you across the room holding your distinctive US passport?
Tip #5: Don’t wear jewellery
This is both a tip and one of my biggest pet peeves. You know when you fly you’re going to have to go through security so don’t be a complete idiot and wear fifty pounds worth of jewellery that has to be shed at the metal detector while I wait behind you. You can survive the flight without your nipple rings, Prince Alberts, and twenty facial piercings. Also, don’t wear that satellite dish sized cowboy belt buckle and then act SHOCKED that you’re being asked to remove it before going through the metal detector.
Think it through before you get to security.
What I usually do is carry a small bag that I put into my carry on. In fact, you don’t even really need a separate bag if you have a carryon bag with compartments and you reserve one of those compartments for your items that need to be quickly retrieved.
Before I go to the airport I put everything in that bag/compartment that I might need to have with me after the security checkpoint but don’t necessarily need before then. I keep my watch, loose change, cell phone, and other misc items on my person but as soon as I stand in line for the metal detectors I put those items in my bag.
By the time I get to the security checkpoint I have no metal anywhere on me.
I pass through security quickly, without incident, and as soon as I’m on the other side I reach into my carryon and pull out my little bag that has all my stuff in it and don my gear.
Tip #6: Wear shoes that are easy to get on and off
Much like the above, this is as much for your own good as it is for everyone who has to wait behind you. Wear slip on shoes or sandals.
If you’re going on a long-haul flight from Los Angeles to Europe or Tokyo you’re feet are going to swell up from sitting anyway so go ahead and wear something comfortable. You can always put your more stylish wear in your carryon bag and slip them on when you get to your destination.
Tip #7: Don’t bring prohibited items through security
I don’t know why but there always seems to be someone who is trying to bring a lighter or some other prohibited item through security. Don’t. I think the most common items I’ve seen are pocket knives and lighters. You can go to the TSA website for specifics on what is and isn’t allowed.
Bonus Tip: Don’t bring wrapped gifts either in your carry on or your checked-luggage. Security personnel need to be able to look at these items.
Tip #8: Lock your bags
Most luggage these days comes with some form of lock or another. These are pretty useless except on the more expensive brands. I prefer to get one of those luggage straps and put that around my luggage.
Be sure to use only TSA authorized locks on your baggage as if security needs to get inside there they’ll break your locks to do so unless they’re TSA authorized in which case they have a way to get in without damaging the lock.
Tip #9: BYOF
With airline food declining in quality and some airlines eliminating free meals completely, it’s always a good idea to store some snacks in your carry on. There’s nothing worse than being hungry and being forced to pay $7 on the flight for some crappy box lunch you wouldn’t pay $2 for on the ground.
While there are plenty of food choices available in the airport terminal they are usually overpriced so you should probably do your shopping before you arrive. Some foods that you can take on that might tide you over on a long flight are:
Fruit
Vegitables
Nuts, trail mix and other munchies
Power Bars
Soup and/or noodles (just add hot water)
Sandwiches
Cheese and crackers
Tip #10: Always keep an eye on your stuff
Airports are a great place for theives because once they’re off with your stuff they can be on a plane to anywhere. Do yourself a favor and be extra careful with your stuff. If I’m on one of those long haul flights where I have multi-hour layovers I’ll bring a light bicycle lock and put it around my luggage if I decide to snooze. Of course, that’s only helpful if you can lock the access to the pockets of your bags so pick luggage that allows you to lock up the compartments.
While it may be tempting to go someplace dark and quite to catch some winks, your best bet is to stay someplace in full view of other passengers. I would much rather have someone laughing at me drooling in my sleep than some guy taking his time as he quietly goes through my bags with no fear of being outed by other passengers, airport security, or airport staff.
Those document holders that go around your neck have recently become all the rage but what they really are is an open, visable pocket for a fast fingered theif to pick. People store money, credit cards, and all sorts of other valuables in those document holders. A bump as you walk out of the McDonalds is all it takes for some thief to reach into your pouch and lift whatever you’ve stored in there.
If you’re traveling internationally you typically need two things to board a flight once you’ve passed security; a passport and your boarding pass. You don’t get any extra points for having an uncreased boarding pass so fold it up, put it in your passport, and put both in your front pocket. The pocket with your passport should never be a pocket that you need to get into and out of frequently (e.g. your change pocket).
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This is part two of a three part series on street smart travelling. Each part contains ten tips plus some bonus tips thrown in as I think of them.