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Everybody Wants To Call Me Like Crazy When I Don’t Have Anything

by Bill Rini on June 30, 2006

in Online Poker, Poker, Poker Humor

This has to be one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a looooooooong time. Go check out some of the videos. This guy is an instant-classic.

While he’s got more than his fair share of leaks, he’s not too horrible a player. The comedy is in his tilt. One of my favorites:

God almighty! Couldn’t I just catch a godamn hand? Jesus Christ! Ohhh, I tell ya, eh, eh, we’re startin’ up all over . . . already. Startin’ already. My ace-ace was busted. Had my kings busted. Had ace-ace, got nothin’. Had king-king and went all in and got busted. That makes me so damn mad I don’t know what to do. Just startin’. Just! Already! Not a good start.

Update: After watching a few more videos I have to retract my previous statement about him not being a horrible player.

Here’s one of the plays that both changed my mind about him and had me on the floor doubled over from laughing so hard:

tuff_fish is UTG with 33 at a five handed table. tuff_fish limps. UTG+1 raises to $75. Everyone folds to tuff_fish who calls. Flop comes 7♠ 8♣ 3♣. tuff_fish checks, UTG+1 bests $120 into a $158 pot and tuff_fish calls. Turn is a Q♠ putting two flush draws on the board (spades and clubs). tuff_fish . . . . checks it. UTG+1 checks behind. River is A♠. Here is tuff_fish’s dialogue:

Futher, god damned sone of a bitch. F*cking bastard. Sone of a f*cking bitch. Why the c*ck f*cking sucking hell does this happen every f*cking time?

tuff_fish checks. UTG+1 bets $300 into a $398 pot. tuff_fish calls. UTG+1 shows 8♠ T♠ for the runner, runner flush.

tuff_fish continues his excellent analysis of the hand:

Oh my god. Mother f*cking, god damn c*ck sucker. You know, I try to put a move to induce him to get frisky before and he just didn’t do it. And then the god damn card comes. They always come. Every god damn time. The f*cking god damn flush card comes every god damn time.

Well, you know, I can’t blame the cards. I worked myself into that situation. I was hoping he had a queen and he was going to raise that. Yeah, I misplayed that.

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

1 mookie99 06.30.06 at 1:54 pm

I’m glad I’m not the only one watching his videos. Pure comedy.

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