Fake Poker News

I know it’s difficult to tell sometimes but I do have a sense of humor. I think you need one in order to get by in a business that seems to get completely turned on its head every few years.

I’ve always enjoyed sites like The Onion that take current events and turn them into farcical news stories. The part I love is that a well written parody is one where you can’t be entirely sure whether or not the post is a parody or not.

For instance, the Kim Jong-un voted Sexiest Man Alive story in The Onion which was picked up by Chinese press and reported on as fact.

In Thailand, I was an avid reader of a parody news site called Not the Nation which poked fun at one of the largest English-language newspapers in Thailand (The Nation). Admittedly, due to some of the batshit crazy stuff that happens in Thailand, it’s difficult to tell which one is supposed to be the parody.


But what about the beloved game of poker? Where’s the humor? Where’s the fake poker news?

There have been some brilliant examples in the past such as SrslySirius’ musical tributes to Black Friday, The Micros’ take on the grinder lifestyle, Bill Fillmaff, countless 2p2 threads, and even my own Proof That Online Poker is Rigged post and Poker Meme site. But where’s the news parody?

Surely the poker media deserve a little ribbing, right?

Well, it turns out that they’re are a couple of poker news parody sites out there. The first I ran across was Melted Felt run by Mark Holland. Posts like Cash-Out-Curse Proven To Be True are what parody poker news stories should aspire to. Melted is funny and witty and a great way to have a laugh after reading about another delay in getting your Full Tilt money back.

Another poker news parody site called Bonus Code Poker by Chris Grove seems to be following in the footsteps of The Onion and having their fake news being confused with real news. A feat considered to be the pinnacle of fake news reporting.

Several poker blogs and forums initially reported the BCP’s PokerStars Sues Itself Over Zoom Poker post as fact.

Here’s an excerpt from the fake poker news story:

Now that PokerStars owns the assets of Full Tilt Poker, the company is aggressively pursuing all poker sites they believe “copied” Rush Poker – including themselves.

“We intended to take vigorous action against any and all rooms that have profited from theft of Full Tilt Poker’s intellectual property,” PokerStars general counsel Lane Flaumacher asserted.

“Even if we have to pursue them to the ends of the earth. Or just, you know, across the office.”

PokerStars’ lawsuit brought immediate and decisive criticism from a number of competing online poker rooms – including PokerStars.

“This suit is completely without merit,” PokerStars general counsel Lane Flaumacher asserted. ”The thought that Zoom Poker somehow infringes on Rush Poker is absurd. ”

The reason I love stuff like this is not just because it’s clever, but because it takes real skill to produce. A skill that is often lacking in a lot of what passes as poker writing today.

For instance, I remember trying to read “[simpleazon-link asin=”1880685000″ locale=”us”]The Theory of Poker[/simpleazon-link]” for the first time many years ago. I couldn’t get through the book. The information was, without a doubt, enlightening but the presentation was stone-cold boring.

I don’t mean that as an insult to David Sklansky but, though he can write, he’s not a writer.

Very few people have the skill of, say, a Dr. Pauly who can turn something boring like covering the WSOP into stories about who was at the urinal next to him during the dinner breaks.

Making poker interesting is one of the biggest challenges this industry will face in the future. We’ve seen the boom and now the bust and I assume when poker is legalized we’ll see another mini-boom but beyond that the industry needs to keep making the game engaging, accessible, and entertaining.

So next time you see one of these talents, don’t just laugh and click away. Spread it around. Show them some love.

4 thoughts on “Fake Poker News”

  1. Nick,

    I guessed I missed those and I apologize because I love that kind of stuff and I’m an avid reader of PF.

    But I think you guys fall intro the same trap as I do. It’s hard for me to write satire on my blog because people expect me to be serious. I love PokerFuse but I love PF because of their great reporting. If you publish satire, it’s hard to tell which is which.

    Keep up the great work. The entire poker community owes you folks a great debt of gratitude.


  2. Mixed results when we’ve tried a couple of times in the past!

    “Ivey Officially Sucks, Goes 0-5 in WSOP Final Tables” mostly went down well although we got one or two angry tweets/emails.

    We also published a while back “Pokerfuse Unveils Threat-Level Warning System for News Articles” but that one wasn’t as well received!

    I wonder if we published it now it would get a better reception, although as we’re generally considered pretty straight, I think anything satire on pokerfuse is quite unexpected. We’ve had an article titled “News Article is “Inflamatory and Doom-Saying” Claim Anonymous Sources” that’s remained unpublished for over a year 🙂

    Chris Grove is definately the king of the written poker satire. My personal fav is ‘the secrets of ipoker 3’ (http://instantpokermoney.com/articles/how-to-play-at-ipoker-3) but there’s a lot of good stuff on the IPM blog.

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