Mashup Monday: Funnies From the Past

A collection of funny (I think) posts from Bill’s Poker Blog over the last six or so years.

I guess we have to start off with the classic Proof That Online Poker Is Rigged! post (circa 2004). It’s still one of the most popular posts on this blog and years after I posted it it still gets massive hits.

Online Poker is Rigged!!

Of course, that prompted Felecia to ask me to parody her battle with The Big C so Play Poker Like The Chemos was born.

Play Poker Like the Chemos

Another post that seems to extremely popular for some unknown reason is Poker Sunglasses Shootout where I review sunglasses based on how well they help you play poker.

Oakley Thumps. Good overall glasses. Many players have seen the pros wear these on television and become immediately intimidated. With the built in MP3 player pumping jams another intimidation move that can be pulled is to remove the ear buds from your ear and say “I’m sorry, did you say call or raise? I couldn’t hear you because I was listening to my Daniel Negraneau podcast.”

Unfortunately, I cannot recommend these glasses for looking into people’s souls. I’ve read somewhere that Oakley is coming out with the Thump 3 next season which have improved soul seeing capabilities but the Thump 1 and 2’s are absolutely terrible for seeing into your opponent’s soul.

Bluff Factor: +3
Seeing into Soul Factor: +0
Overal Win/Loss: +5 BB

I thought this one was funny. It’s gotten mixed reviews so I’ll force it upon you again and again until everyone declares it universally funny.

Fun Facts About Phil Gordon

Those aren’t credits that roll after Celebrity Poker Showdown, it is actually a list of people that Phil Gordon busted that day.

This is a bonus one because it’s a two parter. It’s Separated at Birth – Part I and Part II

You’re in for a treat because here comes another two parter.  10 Best PartyPoker Screen Names and 10 Best Full Tilt Screen Names

Here’s my all time favorite:

I guess I was a little confused here because I thought HDouble was talking about Paula Abdul’s poker strategy but it later turned out it was an entirely different Abdul he was talking about.

The Poker Wisdom of Paula Abdul

You’re the whisper of a summer breeze
You’re the kiss that puts my soul at ease
What’s I’m sayin’ is I’m into you
Here’s my story, and the story goes
You give love
You get love
And more than heaven knows
You’re gonna see

So, what I think Abdul is saying here is that when you get a rush of cards, it’s like a whisper of a summer breeze. I have to agree there and I’m not sure I see any sort of special wisdom in that statement. But, “You give love, You get love,” now that’s a message. Love is action. Action is love. So if you give action, you get action. If you’ve been playing like a rock all afternoon and you suddenly hit a rush, you won’t get action unless you’ve been giving action. I see where she’s going with this now.

If only someone would write these books.

Ten Poker Books I Would Like To See

1. Playing the Later Stages of Tournaments by Vinney Vihn
2. Table Etiquette by Tony G
3. Sick Prop Bets for Advanced Players by Phil Ivey
4. Backing Agreements by Jamie Gold
5. Creative Ways to Build Your Bankroll by Brandi Hawbacker
6. Bankroll Management by Mike “The Mouth” Matusow
7. Ex-Wives Jokes Vol IV by Norman Chad
8. Value Betting the River by Jennifer Tilly (explained here)
9. Does This Dress Make My Ace Look fat? – Liz Lieu
10. Poker: The Egoless Sport by Phil Hellmuth

And of course, no list would be complete without the RT (Rigtard) Hand History Analyzer for Rigged Poker Games. I know, many people have wondered what the RT stood for. Now you know.

On a more serious note: I have some big news coming up. I’m trying to decide whether to publish it today or tomorrow. Keep checking back.

Bill Rini
Bill Rini is currently the Head of Online Poker for WSOP. He has been working in the online poker industry since 2004 and has held management roles at Full Tilt Poker and PartyPoker.